SOMETHING DIFFERENT!!

THE BONE!

Lord! This is that point when I stop the pacing, I stop the loud cries, its the point where I sit still and speak to you. one of those prayers that I simply hardly pray. It is a point where I realise like the Galatians I am doing everything backward.. I started really well but seems like I have slowly tried led back to that place I hated with every fiber in me.

Lord! I need you to teach me like you taught Paul of these things that men just couldn't teach.
Teach me to always have my Spirit awake and aware of the things that surround me daily.
Teach me to be a woman with the knowledge of her divine purpose so I may not live a life that isn't satisfying
Teach and make known to me that path of rightness always that I may fail to know anything aside from it.
To learn to be gentle in Spirit, to bow my head when I ought to, to always know of that favour that proceeds me as I enter the chambers of my King.
That boldness and resilience to serve my father, to seat at the feet and learn of thee.

Lord! Teach me to lighten the burden of mine husband, your servant that he may feel lighter because of his bone
I am the bone of his Bones- he needs me to stand because the two shall become one.
Teach me to understand this Ministry of oneness- of you and the Church, that I maybe a bride that understands and has communion(singular without exclusion)- sharing one life with my bridegroom.
When he breathes, I breathe. We have one life with him, to build him and grow his vision as we share it.
Teach me to speak when I must, to have a balanced Spirit that I may say only that which edifieth him and builds him.
Sanctify him from the inside- out because he draweth from the inside that it maybe manifest outwardly.

Lord! Teach me to love without ceasing, of a love that is not unmannerly, a love that ceases not, a love that covers a multitude of Sin... No! Actually a love that doesn't see the sin or acknowledge it at any one time.
A love that has everything else as vanity and  meaningless if it is  without you The author of Love.
Teach me to listen and heed to correction and to the Scripture that buildeth the saints. Lord that on that day that I presented before you I am presented pure, without spot or wrinkle because thou had prepared thee for this marriage.

When you passed by me once again and saw I was ready for marriage, you;
dressed me in a colorful gown and put leather sandals on my feet. You  gave me  linen blouses and a fashionable wardrobe of expensive clothing. You adorned me with jewelry: placed bracelets on my  wrists, fitted me out with a necklace, emerald rings, sapphire earrings, and a diamond tiara. provided me  with everything precious and beautiful: with exquisite clothes and elegant food, garnished with honey and oil. I was absolutely stunning. I was a queen!

Lord! Now it is my turn to honour you by honouring my vow to you of not most being a Woman but the Wife.

In Jesus name
Amen!

TRIBUTE TO FAKE FAIRY TALES!!!!

When this year began i knew what to expect as always..
Finish campus, graduate, get a job, start off my career and grow as a woman that had her head in the game at all times..
My soul focus was on building what I had and growing to heights no ordinary 22 year old would ever reach and attain.
All went well, some things happened a little slower than others but it was better than nothing.

Then I met you! The one thing that I never expected or planned for. You came and just reshuffled my deck of cards and nothing was in my favour any more. All the odds were against me until I had bet all I had.
You were like that one think in life you never have control over and can not change no matter how much or hard you tried.
 You just walked in and I couldn't help myself, I had no control over you, me or even us. We just happened!

You walked in and clearly reorganized all I had planned and then walked out. Don't get me wrong, I don't blame you because I honestly believe that I could have been smarter and sharper. Now I am way behind schedule but I will pick up pace soon and keep my eyes out for more yous so I don't have to go back to that lonely dark place that I never thought I would come out of.

So this is a tribute to you my darling... the man that I loved to death and lost.. thank you for reminding me that fairy tales don't exist, ponies and horses aren't real, true love doesn't exist and all men are the same ;-)

Lkh

PLEASE DON'T JUDGE ME!!!

PURE SELFISHNESS

A wise man once said each day is a major leap of faith, we start each day in the hope that we shall end it well and that it will end better than it began. I believed that every single day that I spent living a life that was pleasing to all than to self.

I once met a guy that in actual reality superseded in all aspects than could count on my toes and fingers combined, he had this strange sense of weirdness that many people to this day find very attractive. He was the regular probably 5’10, dark and dressed really nice and hard not to notice since he was sort of the prime focus of everyone that met him or came across him. If he was like everyone else I doubt he would stand out or even get noticed by the average crowd. However things are different and he kinda lives with it every day. He is a banker, wealthy man, rich and wears nice perfume.

It was one day in September, autumn, was an ordinary Saturday with nothing so eventful save for my best friend having been out running errans instead of her usual studying. I was busy patching up a piece of carpet that was damaged when we moved into our new room at varsity. Anyway as I was busy being unreasonable busy I received a text with directions to a place that my best friend wanted us to meet. So I moved.

As I settled in, I notice him and the weirdest thing is that I was so sure I knew him from somewhere, just couldn’t remember where. My family always says that I know too many people which is partially true. Anyway so I watch him pace and I listened to him speak. it was the annual Women’s conference that happened every time around the year. At the back of my mind I wondered, “why the heck do they have to have a man speak at a Women’s Conference” it never made sense at anyone point the entire session, but I sat and listened. We became friends, almost dated, never worked and we moved on.

My question at this point is, why do you waste a person’s time if you know it will cost them? Why do you make promises that you will never keep? Why do you say things that you don’t mean? Why would you take someone to the lengths and then leave them hanging? Does it sound fair at all that a person can be so consumed in everything else except himself to even realize that he is hurting the people that can build, actually that built him and were a stepping stone for him to get to where he is? Is it worth it to lose all the people your life so you can make another comfortable?

I call that pure selfishness. Ordinarily it would be selfless however when you do the math and think about everything you realize that it is all him, it is all what do I get out of all this. I spent an entire year watching my life play out a certain way in my face and then two days later you are telling me that it is all simply a fantasy in my head? Did you forget the things that were said in that one year so quickly or do you need me to refresh your mind? I do not believe anything you ever said to me concerning my immaturity, disrespect and all that crap because it was just your way of getting me out of your hair so you can move on and clean up shop.

It was sad because you missed out on alot of amazing stuff we probably could have done together. now all i have are the terrible memories that sadly not easily replaceable with the grate one that we once had.

message to all:

DO NOT TRUST ANYONE!

one and only

L.H.K